Poor America

We Americans have been used and abused and we're not taking it anymore! We want to make America rich again! No more helping out the lazy slackers around the world who have been taking advantage of our generosity, stealing our jobs, imposing Euro-trash wokeness on a once manly and masculine culture. All we do is send "aid" around the globe and what do we get in return? More begging! Meanwhile, we can barely scrape enough together for a family vacation to Disney World, what with payments for the new truck and hot tub. Why is it so hard for these foreigners to understand "exceptionalism"? We Americans are exceptional for a reason, it's why we deserve nice things. All those brown people used to be happy with their lot in life. Now they think they can be like us? WTF? Even the Chinese are getting uppity, forgetting their place, thinking they can compete with "the indispensible nation". And here come the Vietnamese for Christs sake, a people we tried not that long ago to bomb back to the stone age, capturing OUR market share! Commie bastards - maybe we should give them the old Allende treatment. We just don't get any repect - so it's time for some tough deal-making. If the world is going to keep using OUR currency and if we are going to keep protecting them with OUR military bases, it's time we got something in exchange! If these other countries want to be great like us, they should quit whinging and do what we did: steal land from the indigenous people and get some slaves to work for free. Then build up a big military and start opening up markets and protecting your "national interests", like minerals and fossil fuels, even if they happen to exist in other countries. Oh wait. We aren't great now, we want to be great again! Two dollars a gallon gas, avacados and tangerines year round, Nikes and Jordans for the whole family. Poor America, just a shadow of the Empire we once were. Yes, re-claiming the Gulf of America is a start, annexing Canada and Greenland will help build morale. Perhaps a Colosseum where our best warriors can fight each other and lions and shit.